Ever wondered why some children instinctively comfort a crying friend while others hesitate, unsure what to do? That difference is not occurring just by chance! More often than not, it begins at home, shaped quietly by the way parents guide, listen, and love their children. When a child reaches out to console a classmate in pain, it looks like a simple gesture of kindness but beneath that moment lies a deeper lesson: a reflection of the care they have seen and received from their parents.
Empathy can be understood as the ability to understand and share others’ feelings which also act as one of the most powerful skills a child can develop. It predicts kindness, cooperation, and even leadership. But it does not appear on its own. Research shows that the way parents interact with their children plays a major role in nurturing empathy among children.
Psychologists describe four broad parenting styles, each sending a distinct emotional message. Authoritative parents, who balance warmth with clear boundaries, create environments where children feel safe to express themselves and explore emotions.
In homes like these, feelings are talked about and respected. Children learn to consider others’ perspectives naturally, simply by being encouraged to do so. Across 14 studies involving more than 2,500 children, this style was consistently linked to higher empathy levels than any other.
On the other hand, authoritarian parenting is characterized by harsh discipline with little warmth tends to suppress empathetic reactions. While children might follow commands, they fail to understand feelings and may learn how to hide their own emotions. A study of preschoolers found this style associated with lower empathy and higher aggression.
On the opposite extreme, permissive parents lavish a lot of love on children but impose few rules. While some children in these homes develop strong empathy and social skills, others may struggle with emotional regulation, since empathy thrives when kids learn both how to feel and manage emotions.
The biggest challenge, however, is for children whose parents are neglectful. With little or no guidance or attention, the roots of empathy may be weak; thus, weaker social bonds ensue. Such children may stand alone, but find it hard to have close relationships.
An integrationist approach reminds us that empathy does not result from one single factor but from an interaction of parenting style, communication, culture, family stress, and even parents’ own emotional well-being. Indeed, one study of 233 children found that open, conversational family communication increased empathy, regardless of whether parents were strict or laid‑back.
What matters most is that raising empathetic children does not mean being a “perfect” parent. It’s the small, everyday moments that count, like pausing to talk about feelings, explaining why behaving in a certain way matters, or showing compassion through actions. Simple acts, like listening attentively when a child is upset, gently guiding them to understand how others feel, or helping them make amends after a mistake, quietly teach empathy. Raising empathetic children is so important because it teaches them to truly understand others, face challenges with compassion, and build deep, meaningful relationships. These lessons help them grow into caring adults who spread kindness, foster connection, and make the world a more compassionate place.
In the end, the most effective parenting blends love with structure, where fair boundaries are paired with emotional connection. In a world that often feels divided, perhaps the greatest gift we can give our children is showing them how to care.
Akashi Vishiyi Aye, PhD
Counsellor
Thursday, November 13, 2025