Comparison is not love: Let children grow in their own light

A home is the first school of a child. Children learn from their parents—their first teachers—by listening to their words, observing their actions, and absorbing how they speak and behave. Parents shape a child’s confidence, emotional strength, and identity. A child’s behaviour, character, and self-image often reflect how their parents guide, teach, and encourage them.
Out of love and a desire to see their children succeed, many parents unintentionally cause harm through comparison. In today’s society, we often see parents comparing their child to siblings, classmates, or friends, thinking it will inspire improvement. But instead of feeling motivated, children may start to feel overlooked, anxious, and inadequate.
They begin to believe they are not good enough and may never reach the level of those around them. As a result, they try to excel—not out of passion, but out of fear of being seen as a failure. The wounds of comparison can linger for years, quietly damaging their confidence and holding them back from thriving in the unique gifts they were born with.
Every child is born with their own talents, interests, and personality. Instead of encouraging them to follow the path of others, we must give each child the chance to explore their own potential.
When children are constantly told to copy others, they may drift away from what they truly love and what they’re truly good at.
Every child deserves to be seen, appreciated, and encouraged for who they are.
Children who grow up in an environment where their individuality is valued become more confident, secure, and emotionally balanced. On the other hand, a child who is constantly compared under the guise of love may suffer from low self-esteem and confusion about their true abilities.
Parents must teach their children that being different is not a weakness—but a strength and a gift. And parents themselves must understand that excessive comparison often leads to anxiety, stress, and emotional harm, rather than growth.
As the renowned psychiatrist and philosopher Carl Jung once said: “Every child is an individual. You cannot compare one with another. Each unfolds in his own way and time.”
Ms. Rachel Thiumai,
B.A. 5th Semester
Department of English,
Modern College Piphema