Let your child grow their way—not someone else’s

In today’s achievement-focused world, many parents unintentionally compare their children to others—whether it’s a classmate’s grades, a cousin’s talents, or a neighbour’s behaviour. While the intention might be to motivate, constant comparison often does more harm than good.
Repeated comparisons send children the message that who they are isn’t enough. Over time, this can damage their confidence, create anxiety, and lead them to value themselves only through the lens of others’ success.
One of the biggest mistakes is focusing only on academic achievement as the main marker of success. While education is important, it’s not the only path to fulfilment. Many children who don’t excel academically thrive in other areas—like sports, music, art, communication, or problem-solving. These talents deserve just as much recognition and support. A child who struggles in math might be a brilliant athlete, a compassionate leader, or a creative thinker. Ignoring these strengths in favour of grades alone can leave children feeling overlooked and misunderstood.
Worse, some children abandon their true passions to meet their parents’ expectations. A child who dreams of being an artist may give it up to study science, to earn approval. These quiet sacrifices can lead to a deep sense of regret and a loss of identity. When praise is tied only to high marks or perfect behaviour, children begin to associate love with achievement. They may become afraid to fail, stop trying new things, or feel emotionally disconnected from their parents.
The constant push for “more” can leave children emotionally drained. A good score followed by “Why not an A+?” or a win followed by “Next time, do better” teaches them that their best is never enough. Every child has unique strengths and a different journey. Instead of comparing, parents should focus on understanding and supporting. Recognising effort, offering encouragement, and showing unconditional love help children grow with confidence and emotional strength.
Rather than asking, “Why can’t you be like them?” ask, “How can I support you?”. A small shift in words can make a big difference in a child’s life.
Rüülhouü
Khawakhrie
B.A. 2nd Semester, Department of English
Modern College,
Piphema